ALL AMERICAN RAGER / FOURTH OF JULY, 2013, Old Brookville, NY

Unfortunately, a minor case of self diagnosed bronchitis and some major technical difficulties at the restaurant have delayed my first real party post but it was worth the wait! Fourth of July though only my fourth favorite holiday (after Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, in ascending order in case you were wondering) it is definitely always one of the best party days of the year.

For the second year in a row my badass friend Chiara offered her (parent’s) Long Island Mansion for festivities. Last year, while extremely fun, was a little last minute gathering Chiara put together as a joint Independence day/ going away party for herself. This year she wanted to amp up the festivities and she was kind enough to ask me to help! Obviously nothing gets me going like a good Long Island Pool Party and I was beyond excited to help.

Let me start with describing Chiara’s ridiculously party friendly property: huge house, huge kitchen, on 4 acres of landscaped lawn AND woods, pool, grill, tables for beer pong, bocce and corn hole locals, enough space for tons to crash and most importantly far enough from the neighbors to rage till the wee hours of the morning. Straight up ideal party local. But wait there’s more. Chiara’s party animal little bro, Joey, and his adorable Southern Bell friend, went above and beyond and rented a BOUNCEY CASTLE AND VELCRO WALL. After crafting one of my “famous” party email invites, we invited about 60 friends, mostly Brooklynites, to trek out to the Island and eat, sleep, party and play. We would provide the food if everyone brought their own booze. We made it be known in one of the many preparty emails that if they wanted, guests could make a small donation to the party fund but it was in no way mandatory. While Chiara’s father called us “shysters” for accepting money, we are broke 20 somethings and I for one don’t find it too gauche. When I’m thirty and raking in the big bucks (that’s what happens when you turn 30, right?) I’ll probably have a different opinion.

While only 35 people RSVPed (why is it so hard for people to say they are coming to a party?) we figured at least 60 would show up between the people we invited, unannounced plus ones, Joey’s friends, and word of mouth. Once everyone was invited and guest list tentative enough to plan our next biggest concern was food. There can never be too much food (or beer for that matter) and with so many mouths to feed we wanted to be ready. Chiara bought a couple hundred dollars worth of burgers, hot dogs, sausages, chips, etc. Chiara’s generous parents supplied (in addition to their home) 12 feet of italian subs. And I made a couple of very large side “salads” (salads in quotation marks because they were mostly mayonaise based). Oh and I made 100 watermellon Jell-O shots. We were ready. On July 3rd, Chiara, myself and a couple of VIP friends spent the night pre partying, making potato salads and preparing the house. I always like doing as much prep work the night before as possible. So often I miss half a day time party cause I’m in the kitchen cooking. By making everything the night before or the in the morning I avoid the hot kitchen and can lounge pool side with everyone else.

The party officially started at 3 PM, we asked any train riders not to come past 5:30 PM so we would avoid any drunk drivers picking up people at the station. So by 6 o’clock the backyard was packed with joyous kids in their mid-twenties decked out in red, white and blue. My ridiculously good at pretty much everything he does boyfriend, Calvin, silk screened tons of custom Fourth of July Bosco shirts and hats (the photo company he and most of my friends work for, which will inevitably be discussed in future posts), which made a great party favor! (I love party favors)(and party shirts) Everyone looked awesome rocking matching apparel, drinking cold beers and what eventualy became warm Jell-O shots and frolicking around the property. The party continued smoothly into the night, at midnight we sang happy birthday to Sarina who turned 26 on the 5th, gave out Funfetti Cupcakes (the best kind of cupcakes) and since we didn’t have any birthday candles, we used one of the many glow sticks myself and my friend Jose brought for the party (always a great party addition! for birthday candles). I was one of the first to zonk out at 3AM but the party went on till the sun came up with activities probably too debaucherous to discuss on the internets.

Throughout the 18 hour festivities we estimated about 75 guests rolled through (both invited and uninvited), over 30 people slept every and anywhere they could (examples include two to a cushioned window seat, the outdoor supply shed, and the middle of the dining room floor). I have never seen “Project X” but everyone kept saying that’s what it looked like. We all woke up hungover (me probably the most) took a dip in the cold pool and hauled ass outta there so Chiara could go to a wedding (poor girl). As all parties do, there were a few minor mishaps, which we don’t need to dwell on. Oh except the Velcro Wall. That was an minor fail we can discuss. While hilarious to watch your friends eat shit in a too small velcro suit on a super hot day, those things are not built to hold anyone that weighs more than 100 lbs. Overall all the entire day/night/morning was a RESOUNDING SUCCESS. Don’t just take my word for it, check out the photographic evidence!

The beautiful hostess, Chiara, and 12 feet of subs

Bouncy Castle/Velcro Wall station, Tanner Kingsley and Loretta also pictured

Calvin modeling the children’s size velcro suitAnd splat.

Uncle Knuckle enjoying some mayonaise free German Potato Salad I made JUST for him

Our resident male model Joey showing off Calvin’s Bosco Swag with Wally and LorettaSome festive Fourth outfits. Including mine and Cal’s matching lame steeze.